was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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