do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
