North Korea, Best Korea!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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