So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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