you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
