oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
