This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
