Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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