I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
