Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
