Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
