like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
