you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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