i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
