16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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