...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i think i just lost a toe
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
