I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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