I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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