i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
