there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
