I bet he comes in French.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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