I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think your dad took our porno
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
