I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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