I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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