Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
