Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
