Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?

(313): View more from Michigan

No?

(586): View more from Michigan

Well my cheeks are red now

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin

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(269): View more from Michigan

I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.

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(210): View more from Texas

I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.

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(530): View more from California

it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?

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