You're my little dorito
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
