pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
