Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
