How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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