I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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