you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
