I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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