at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
