When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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