I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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