I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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