fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
