he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
