If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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