I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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