I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
