am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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