I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
