Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
