my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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