Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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