He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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