there's paper in my vomit.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
